I made a major decision recently. It was a tough one because it was a decision I would rather not make. But, it was one I believed God wanted me to make. So, regardless of how I felt, I made this decision .
Behold, few days later, I found myself complaining, angry and frustrated at the first sign of difficulty. Blaming everyone I could. Bla bla bla .
There was indeed something I wasn’t happy about. Something that I could have prayed about. Something I could have believed God to step in to. Instead I let the seeming unpleasantness sour my mood and subsequently, my attitude .
I refused to listen to reason. While I was at it, someone who had the influence to correct the seeming injustice called me in the middle of the night -as though the person couldn’t sleep- without my asking, and addressed the issue. It seemed like someone else had told the person how frustrated I was. Thing is, I didn’t tell anybody that could have told this person. Amen?
Immediately after this call, I got up from bed and told myself ‘Only God could have spoken to this person. Only God could have’. I entered the kitchen to finally fix dinner for me and somehow found myself wondering why I was having serious difficulty in believing God on this matter. Like it was badder than bad. And to solve the problem, I needed to know what it was first .
I then asked the question in my heart and kept thinking about it. Not long after, the answer was right there: “You’re either trusting your own understanding, or you trust God. But you cant trust both. Its either one of the two”. While I was meditating on this, it occurred to me that this was indeed true cos the Bible clearly encourages us to “lean on, trust in and be confident in the Lord”. And warned us not to “lean on our own understanding” Proverbs 3:5-6. If you really meditate on that piece of scripture you’d realize that’s exactly the meaning ☺️.
After this period, I still misbehaved small. . But in the midst of it all, one thing really got to me ‘the fact that God was faithful even when I was faithless’. That He would help me even when I couldn’t articulate my prayer points. All these made me have a change of mind and slowly but surely, I removed my reasoning cap and decided to trust God.
Perhaps you’re experiencing something similar and for whatever reason you cant seem to trust God on a particular issue and you don’t really understand why. Like me, the reason just might be that you’re leaning on your own understanding instead of leaning on God.
I understand its easier to lean on your understanding, to be honest. Because then, your views and decisions will be based on what you can see and your understanding of the situation. I’m sure past experiences has taught you that trusting your own understanding won’t benefit you in the long run. I believe that’s what the Bible meant by ‘Now the mind of the flesh (which is sense and reason without the Holy Spirit) is death…’ Romans 8:5 .
Let me encourage you to listen to the Father and remove your reasoning cap. You’ll see that trusting God on that issue would require more from you because you’ll need to fight the good fight of faith to trust God. It won’t be easy because it most likely won’t make sense to you. But it will be worth it because God will make it all work together for your good .