So, it happened that I was walking on a popular road in Lagos when a question jumped at me “why is it that, we often want the people that don’t want us?”
As simple as the question sounds, I had no ready-made answer for it, so I did the natural thing; which was to shove it aside.
Then I got to work and stumbled on a (very sad) story of a Bollywood actress who allegedly committed suicide cos her boyfriend didn’t give her what she wanted: LOVE. Then, that thought came back and instead of just answering, I decided to put my thoughts here. Better right? Thanks 🙂
So, what’s love/attraction,anyway? Is it just about having butterflies in our tummies, going to the cinema with him/her? Watching his back or whatever?
My observation about attraction is this: we get attracted to the people we want not necessarily the people we need. The people we want usually have all the interesting characteristics (or so it seems) like height, skin colour, Figure 8/6 pack, good sense of humour etc. But in most cases, there’s always an issue. That we want someone is never a guaranty that the person wants us. And believe me, that is annoying as much as it is depressing.
It forces us to meditate on thoughts like ‘does that mean, I am not good enough?’ and other degrading thoughts like that.
Joyce Meyer once reported in one of her books (according to statistics, of course) that at least 1% of the world population will not like you. The first time I saw this, I smiled then pondered on it. “Seriously who cares about 1% when a whooping 99% cares?”. But the truth is, we do care. In fact, sometimes we ignore the ones that care at the detriment of the ones that don’t (that’s not nice :().
What we can do:
I’m not a professional in the affairs of the heart. But I do believe that we have to take responsibility for not just our actions but also our feelings. We can’t just let our emotions run in any direction it pleases, we have to take charge. I think that’s part of what it means to ‘guide your heart with all diligence’
We have to pray and trust God that He will supply our needs in His own way and time. We have a right to love, there’s a part of us that craves to be loved. Thankfully, God Himself acknowledged that ‘it is not good for man to be alone’ so our ‘love’ craving is kinda valid. And since the whole love idea was His anyway, we can like to get direction to ensure we get it right.
And when we do, OMO, there will be challenges o, but it will be sweet.
Good Luck Guys!
Good Night Khan 🙁